What they say will be of more value, and you both benefit from that! 3. Don’t fill in silences for the speaker unless it’s clear he or she is done talking or if they have asked a question when they feel the room to pause and think, their thoughts will come together more fully. Very few people think and speak in an unbroken stream of words, and far fewer still are those who do so without being irritating (and with being worthwhile of long attention given by others).
Allow for Pauses (Mireya Acierto / Getty) And it means an overall stance that is approachable and without an aggressive or detached bent. It means using the head and hands to prompt the speaker to continue. It means an upright posture and an open body (no crossed arms or hunched shoulders, in other words). That means great eye contact when merited, but also looking away when doing so will make the speaker more comfortable. Sure, your ears are the most important part of your body when it comes to active listening, but it’s just about every other part of your body that tells the person talking that you’re actually using those ears (and the brain between them, of course).īecause you’re not speaking while you’re actively listening, it really comes down to body language to make sure the other party knows they are being heard. Demonstrate EngagementĮffective listening sometimes begins with body language. There are many factors that go into being a good active listener, but most every one of them can be tucked into one of these five critical active listening techniques. 5 Things Active Listeners Will Always Do (Thomas Barwick / Getty) Just as someone can tell when an active listener is tuned in, so too can they tell when the other person is merely waiting to get their turn to talk, interruptions or not. Even if you don’t interrupt once, you make eye contact, you nod and smile or shake your head and frown as body language makes sense given the tenor of the talk, if you are simply waiting for the other person to be done talking so that you can speak, you are not being an active listener and you are not being polite. If you are actually paying close attention, the other party will be able to tell, no butting-in required.Īnd perhaps the cardinal sin of poor active listening is the act of waiting to talk. Far too many people make the social mistake of thinking asking questions shows that they are paying attention and interested, whereas in fact these interruptions may only serve to irritate and befuddle your partner in the chat.įrequent interruptions, even if well intentioned, demonstrate social communication skills that need improving, not those that are well polished. Active listening also does not mean asking lots of questions, especially when those questions are asked during an interruption.
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